/*/*/ The World will Know
July 13th, 2021. I was sitting in my chair and started thinking.
I am currently working on a game with 2 people, Jackson and Falco, about 2 kids that discover an artifact capable of curing the Loveless, people whose negative emotions overtook them, and stopping the Unloved, those who embody these emotions.
I've never known Falco and didn't know much Jackson but by doing this project, for a game jam whose deadline is this sunday, it's like that was never the case.
And I've never done a collab for a game project before, this is huge. Why have I never done it?
The Lie of the Industry
Is that you can make a game all by yourself and be welcome in the hall of fame. People like Pixel, Toby Fox, etc.
And I believed it. It's so romantic. I believed it for years. Since that faithful day in 2016.
I was in a drive to the airport, about to leave from Chile back to Brazil, where I belong. It was interesting, to be in a different country. Up until then, Brazil was all I ever knew physically. And now I had a week's worth of being in this new world.
And there an idea popped in my mind. It was a weird game where you controlled a stick man who was the hero of a game, but constantly being made aware of being in one. I thought it was cool, I was inspired by Undertale and maybe one day I could make that happen.
Jump to 2018, I was working on making Green Shirt happen. Some game about a shopkeeper whose green shirt order never came through and is in search of it.
Jump to 2019, Ball with Legs. I was working on a game about a titular ball that's trying to stop bad stuff from happening in town.
Jump to 2020, Legend of Beeb 2. RPG about 4 unlikely friends coming together to get their game board back.
Jump to 2021... Here we are with -FUTURE- LOVELESS. It's shaping up to be this kind of game yet again. The big year project that'll blow everything out of the water but never go anywhere...
But Something Changed
And all because I decided to ask a buddy on discord about making a game together for a jam.
Let me tell you the truth: I was gonna do this all by myself like the maniac I know I am. But something in my mind sparked up for once. Making a game with someone else.
I thought about it before a lot. But I always thought, well, no one wants to work with me. I'm destined to be lonely, unloved, the only one who cares about what I make. But days and days of being frustrated with school schedules and being happy about the recent break must've broken something in my mind. No other way. I thought for once about asking someone I like about doing something together. It's like asking your crush if you wanna do something together but without the whole "you have romantic feelings for them" kinda shtick. You can just feel the anxiety.
Before sleeping that day I was reflecting upon it. And what was I thinking about? Not about it being something new for me. No. I was excited that I could do a game with people. Stuff is just more fun with others, it's human. Playing a game is cool and all, but talking about it with others is fun too, discussing what you thought about and what you discovered.
Nerdy San is my best pal, this has always been clear, this man was the one keeping me together during those dark periods in 2019 and 2020 where I'd have episodes of self-doubt and crying and made me remember I am not alone. Unfortunately he never could much make a game with me. I'm not sure why, but I think he just never really felt like it, or was too busy with life, and he is not wrong for doing that. The few times we did roblox stuff were moments I cherish to this day, making up internal jokes to sprinkle around.
So to have that with more people is amazing. I don't even know if we'll do more together, but heck, it's been almost a week and I'd do it again.